I know that some people may disagree with the thoughts I have now, and I am okay with that. This is just where my thoughts are, and as I write them, I don't mean to offend anyone. I find it interesting to try to lay it out and to give this whole new line of thought a voice... :) Please feel welcome to agree or disagree...I am fine with either! And, please, do not take anything personally. This is not directed at anyone in particular.
I grew up with a feminist father. That is to say, my Dad was very supportive of women's rights and would agree that a woman should and could have the same opportunities as a man. I think, that if Dad was himself these days, that Dad would be a promotor of any person who was not receiving their rights. He would be for the struggling and for the disenfranchised---regardless of what puts them in that position. Dad always made me feel that I could be or do anything. I felt this freedom to think about my future and what I wanted to study and what I wanted to do. I am thankful for that.
I remember my first experience with discrimination based on my gender. It happened when I was working at Sears. I began working in Sears when I was still in high school and I worked there for 7 years. Actually, I experienced plenty of "discrimination" there. The situation I will not forget involved my work in the hardware department. The phone rang and I picked it up. The man said, "I want to talk to someone who know something about drills." I said, "Yes, sir...how can I help you?" He said, "NO... I want to talk to someone who KNOWS something about drills!" I rolled my eyes and called for a MALE co-worker to help him out. Although I was a female, I had received all of the training and although I didn't have a lot of personal experience with routers and circular saws---I knew that the young man I called to the phone probably had just as much as me. I remember feeling frustrated and annoyed. It also happened when I moved to the electronics department. I was struggling with the decision about whether or not to make the move to work in the all-commission electronics department. There were only men working there. I was told clearly, "If the men in that department don't like you, you won't make it." I made it there because I did get along with them and they became my brothers/best friends (to this day!). But, because I was a woman, I had no shot there without their support. It was truth, because I saw other women come and try and they didn't make it.
Things have really changed for America now economically. Many people are trying to get jobs and they just can't find one. I am finding that my perspectives are changing a lot and that God has things to say to me about being a wife and a mother. When we got back, I had a few job offers in the area of teaching. I had a job offered to me immediately for there was a great need. I felt uncertain about taking it, and God shut it down. He said clearly, "You are not to take a job until your husband has a job." Men and women are really wired differently, and I am coming to see it and grasp it. There is no problem with a woman who works outside the home, but truly, at our core---we were created to nuture and help out children grow and to care for our home and husband. Men find a lot of value and affirmation in their work. God created them to be the bread-winners. Women find a lot of value and affirmation in raising their children. (Please, I know these are generalizations, but I really do believe that mostly hold true for everyone. I understand that there may be a few cases where it doesn't fit...but I think it mostly does.) I have witnessed several situations where the woman has had to work because there is no job for the husband, and I have seen how difficult that has been on them. It has wounded their relationship. When Casey and I were here for a year in 2004, it happened to us. Casey had some freelance work, but it was not steady employment. I got a lab tech job and did some teaching at a community college. He was home a lot with Ry (3) and Niko (18 months). Deep in my heart I feel sad about that time because I missed some key moments for Niko. Casey did it--and he did fine with it---but it wasn't the best fit for him. The value from a job, where he could care for his family, was missing. It wasn't "right" and it caused a lot of stress.
The area where my perspective is changing is in the area of how to choose someone for a job. I have always struggled some with Affirmative Action. I think at the beginning it really was a valid policy and perhaps can be if you have two people with equal qualifications but one is a minority. I think that in that case, it was important to give some greater support to minorities. However, I have witnessed many cases where a minority was chosen because they were a minority, and they really haven't done the job properly. It is hard to watch when you see that----and you know that your husband was not even called for an interview for that position...to see what he could bring to it.
As I look at the job market and what has been happening, I feel like the white male has had to endure increasing discrimination. However, they can't make an arguement for that in a politically correct nation for that would be "racist". The country is changing and the white male or female is possibly the minority at this point in time. Since the whites have been those who have oppressed others in the past, this may never be righted again. I don't really feel comfortable with exchanging one type of discrimination for another. Is it okay to shift things so dramatically that we poor discrimination on the perpetrators from the past generations?
So, this kind of leaves me with a mental conundrum. In applying for other jobs, so I can help my family financially, do I really believe that I should be considered over a male for the position? Should I even apply at all, if it means that a man who is my competitor for the position may not be able to buy food for his family? Those are good questions for me to grapple with. All that I can do is prayerfully consider my actions and pray that God directs me and the potential employer to pick the BEST person for the position---and not the female.
Well said, my friend!
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