Da Boys

I spend a lot of time with my three boys.  This week I feel like I spend TOO much time with my boys.   :)  I thought it would be a good time to write about what they are into and what they are up to. 

• What we are reading together:  The Twin Towers by Tolkien
• What they are reading on their own:  Tintin books, creepy stories (Niko) and things about reptiles, Star Wars, dinosaurs.
• What they are watching:  At the moment, a Japanese Godzilla movie
• What they play:  Play Station, DS and Niko has a "friend" next door named Abigail who is here for a few months.  They play outside.  Together they learned to roller blade and they have taken to climbing trees.  The only bad day was when he got stuck in a pine tree and couldn't figure out how to get down.  It's gonna be rough when she leaves.  Chase loves Abigail too.  If Niko goes out, he wants to go too.  It's always, "Is Abigail home?"  When he goes out, he often rides his tricycle.  Yeah, he's gonna miss Abigail too.    Chase is our "motor" boy.  He likes trains, cars and motorcyles a lot more than his brothers did, which pleases his father's heart.  
• What their parents make them do:  karate.  All three boys are doing karate now.
• What they are interested in:   They like animals.  Ryan has two tadpoles he is caring for and Niko has a snail.  Ryan has also planted a whole line of sunflowers at the apartments where we live, and has been watering them.  They are into seeds and planting and seeing things grow.
• How they are changing:  Ryan is growing very tall.  Niko is gaining inches too, but it is hard to see when you compare it to how quickly Ryan is growing.  Ryan and Niko basically don't like girls, although at least Niko will play with them.  And, Abigail is not very "girlie", says Niko.   When Chase says something like, "I love girls" or "Who loves you, baby?" the older two erupt in a chorus of "EEEEWWWS."   They tell me that even though I am a girl, I'm alright.  It's like I don't count.   In the past week, Chase has hit his full-on-talk button.  He has already been talking plenty, but this week it has been way more mature.  He sounds just like a bigger kid!   When Casey took him to the store for an hour this week, he said Chase talked for the entire hour.   Guess he was getting his 2cents in while his brothers were gone.   :)    He is still my "Linus".  He loves to hold his blankie on his head or face when he is tired, and his little mouth starts sucking.  He has done that since he was tiny.   He loves to pretend he is a puppy.  He wags his tail and barks and you are supposed to feed him, give him water, and give him a mandi.  :) 
• What they are learning:  We are trying to finish up our first year of home-schooling.  Only 28 more days to go!!   It's proving tough to finish out well.  We are thinking about an online school option for the fall.  It should be a pretty flexible thing, no matter where we end up.   It's been an interesting year with positives and negatives. 

I love my boys.  This week they may be driving me crazy, but I am so thankful that I am their Mom.  What a priviledge and an honor!  May I cherish my moments with them always! 

Practicing Thankfulness

I have read through part of the book "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp and have been encouraged by others to embrace gratitude and thankfulness. I already know, through experience, that when you have a spirit of gratitude then negativity and the spirit of grumbling is pushed out.  My sister-in-law and I started sharing one thing we are thankful for each day with one another.  I think that this is a good practice for me, but  I feel like I am wanting more.  I feel the need to live in gratitude.  It seems like Voskamp is getting at that when she talks about every day moments and about that gratitude seeping out through every pore---at every moment.  I want to be in a place where I wear those glasses.  That as I look at my life, I see things---constantly, to praise Him about.   I don't think I am there.  Most days in my life right now it is a struggle to name things I am thankful about.  I have some key ones (my family, my friends, an income,  a place to live)...and I can always fall back on those...but, I want to be a person that lives in gratitude so that every moment offers something to give thanks about.  I want to see the beauty or the treasures in my daily chores and in my daily struggles.   That's where I want to be. 

Caution Required

One lesson I have learned in this process of transition to the States is the need for caution in both what I say to others and also how I process what others say.  We left our work overseas with a clear conviction that we were following truth and doing what was right, even though it hurt so badly.  Over those weeks of "goodbyes", so many people told us--over and over again---that God had something "big" in store for us.  After hearing it so often, we really took that to heart I think.  In all the pain we looked with anticipation on what was ahead.   Now we are where we are, and it doesn't feel good.   We ask God, Where is this something BIG?  This is so not it!  Our hearts are filled with the broken pieces of our expectations.   I think I've learned something really important from this.  I know that everyone who spoke those words had good intentions.   But, as I think logically about it now, I realize that it may just have been their own personal words of comfort.  I can't necessarily take that as a "word" from the Lord.  I know that there are people in my life who have spoken the words of God to me, but that doesn't mean that every believer out there is.   I need to keep that in mind and have some realistic expectations.  I understand more now that those words were meant for comfort and encouragement.  I mean, who wants to say, "Bless you as you go!  It's really going to be tough and awful to adjust to the States.  I hope you survive it.  God will be with you"?    Maybe, standing on the other side of it now though, I would have appreciated more "truth" and less "make you feel betters"?    It's also taught me to be careful about how I encourage others and what I say.  When I encourage, I need to offer truth in love.  I need to stick with what is really in the Scripture--He is Lord.  He loves us.  He is with us.   He does have A plan.  

Lost

As you can tell from looking at this blog, my blog has gotten "lost"...and I rather feel like I have gotten lost too.  It is so hard to tell where I am right now.  There is so much going on with my family, our transition to the States, and my own mind and heart.  I feel lost in this powerful storm and there has not been a break in the weather. 

Something that has caught my heart recently is the story of the disciples in the boat with Jesus.  He was so tired and as the boat went out on the water, He fell asleep.  As He slept, as storm came upon them.  They battled with it, trying to keep their boat from capsizing.  As they worked and struggled, He rested.  That's an incredible picture in my mind.  I see their arms flexed, their teeth clenched...every part of them, heart and soul, involved in the struggle.   And, He sleeps.  Peacefully, quietly, without concern at that time.  What has spoken to me is that He didn't get up right away.  He continued to sleep.   He let them struggle and work for awhile.  They had to come to Him and rouse Him..."Help us Lord!"   I don't know His purpose for them in that moment.  I don't know why they had to deal with the tough exhausting work or the fear and terror of impending death.  Maybe so that they could see, that there is peace in that. He has a peace that He offers that cannot be shaken by our intense emotions, grief, loss, pain, suffering and "being lost".   I fight, I pull, I struggle--and as I look at Him in the boat of my life, I just want to let go and snuggle up in the crook of His outstretched sleeping arm.   What am I waiting for?   There is peace and there is rest. 

(Now that my blog is no longer "lost", I hope to use it more often...) :)